Transitions: the only way out is through

You know when you’ve met up with a friend to catch up and you’re like, “I have so much to tell you!” and you have no idea where to start? That’s how I feel right now. (We're friends, right?)

The last 7 months have been a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes I found myself with my hands in the air screaming in delirious joy. There were moments where I was so nauseated with the ride that I was ready to, well I think you get the point. Other moments I felt like a janky seatbelt had me strapped in and all I wanted was to GTFO the endless plummet into the mysterious tunnel while simultaneously praying that it wouldn’t snap and ditch me behind in the murky transitional abyss. You know, the space between I’ve seen too much to stay where I am and but where da fuq I go from here? Ah, rollercoasters, they’re fun right?

a lot has changed and oddly enough a lot of things have returned back to their natural state

Things that have made a comeback? My confidence. And I really missed her. I don’t mean that fake it til you make it confidence I’d been relying on for the last 7 years. I mean the I fuck with me heavy confidence. Being myself became fun again. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my shoulders dropped from my ears, my eyes lit up over what I saw, and I was in awe of my damn self. *Cue delirious joy*

The work I started from my trip to Marrakech, Morocco (I should really write about that trip) continued and I remembered that what I thought and felt first and foremost was more important than anyone else’s opinion. Trusting my intuition was back too - I had forgotten how intuitive I am. Like my fav Amanda Seales said, “I be knowing.” And with knowledge came great responsibility…and a few nauseated turns on the rollercoaster.

I then asked God, the Universe, my ancestors, my angels - it was all hands on deck - that anything that wasn’t for me be removed from my life.

Which leads me to things that ran its course. Holding on to situations and things that were no longer serving me and were out of alignment with my highest self. Well shit got interesting there. Asking for what you want is all fun and games until you’re waist deep in murky waters. I felt like Westley and Buttercup in the Fire Swamp, dodging rodents of unusual size and shit. But like them, I couldn’t stay there.

the only way out was through

What did the way through it look like? Release. Both of control and of inches off my hair. I heard that hair holds energy and there was some shit I didn’t wanna hold on to. I sat down in my stylist’s chair - who I trust with my life - and said do whatever you want to my hair and came out with the cutest fucking haircut and color. (Shoutout to Octavia at Curly Hair Salon, have you been?!?) Control is a fallacy anyway.

While my rollercoaster ride has ended, another journey for me has begun. 7 months later I’m sipping on mind-my-business-lemon-tea for the nausea and still a little non-MS dizzy as my feet get used to the ground beneath me.

It turns out it’s a lot warmer here through the murky tunnel.

Being summoned by Tiny Boss®️so we’ll catch up more later.